Is it just me or have you ever dined somewhere and enjoyed it so thoroughly that you soon fell down a rabbit hole Googling what other food-centric endeavors the proprietors of the restaurant might be up to? This exact thing happened to me after dining at Petite Chou in Indianapolis. If you’ve been following my blog for awhile, you’re probably already familiar with my sentiments on the subject of Petite Chou. For the uninitiated, I’ll keep it simple and brief: I’m obsessed. I never anticipated that, upon moving to Indiana, I’d find a restaurant quite like Petite Chou–one that scratches every single one of my itches–well, nearly every single one of my itches. You see, Petite Chou is a refined bistro & Champagne bar. It’s elegant, yet relaxed–but I wouldn’t call it hedonistic. Petite Chou speaks to the closet Francophile I keep hidden away in a dark corner of my heart: but it does nothing for my angry-inner-teen that I keep locked away in the attic of my ticker. In enters Apocalypse Burger.
The brilliant minds behind Petite Chou Bistro, Won’t Stop Inc., are the same mad geniuses behind Apocalypse Burger. With a tagline reading, “Revenge burgers, spite snacks and general end of the world anarchy,” my angry-inner-teen was immediately awoken and ready for snack time. The name seems to allude to how this restaurant was born: a smashburger concept that arose from the COVID-19 pandemic. My angry-inner-teen believes this is the perfect food to eat along to a soundtrack of Garbage, Third Eye Blind, Fastball, Semisonic, The Pixies, Eels, and Pulp–but, like, you can do whatever you want, I guess. Check out their website and you’ll see a message from your mom. It reads, “UR MOM CALLED & SHE WANTED US TO TELL U THAT CONSUMING RAW OR UNDERCOOKED MEATS, POULTRY, SEAFOOD, SHELLFISH, OR EGGS MAY INCREASE UR RISK OF FOODBORNE ILLNESS.” My angry-inner-teen squeals with laughter and then puts on headphones to blast Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley objectively too loudly.
Where Apocalypse Burger differs from other burger joints is that it’s taken the basic concept of smashburgers, fries, and other fast-food-inspired debauchery and elevated it just enough to keep our 21st Century brains and bellies interested. If you’re a gourmand looking for a beef pattie of monstrous proportion, sandwiched between a too-thick brioche bun, and loaded with a slew of unmentionable and unimaginable toppings to the point that you must unhinge your jaw to nom down on the burger: look elsewhere. But if you’re the gastronome who gets excited at the idea of somebody giving you a smashburger with double wagyu patties, manchego cheese, white BBQ sauce, lettuce, pickles, and onions: welcome home. This is where we belong, dudes. This is the place.
Let’s start with drinks: whether you want a root beer float or something a little more adult, Apocalypse Burger has got you covered. My dining buddy got the Apocalypse Burger house beer, which is Bier Brewery Kolsch. It is basically the most perfect mow-your-lawn dad beer that’s ever existed and definitely goes great with a smashburger and some fried sides. I opted for the Ramona Sparkling Rosé and, in truth, it’s probably the best canned rosé I’ve ever had. This is definitely a wine I’d pick up for my own fridge to enjoy as a porch-sipper.
As for starters, AKA Spite Snacks, they’ve recently added Fried Cauliflower and Fried Pickles to their menu. I’ll be honest: when my order of fried pickles arrived at the table (cause there’s no way in hell I’m going to miss out on fried pickles) my eyes were like, “Oh…these look fine,” but upon first bite, my mouth and brain were both like, “These are fire.” We also got their loaded fries: worth it. Topped with a house made cheese sauce, Old Major bacon (IYKYK but if you don’t know that abbreviation you know even less, sorry mom), and scallions, these fries are not for the faint of heart but are also really not to be missed. So good. As a chicken nugget aficionado, I couldn’t exactly pass up on their Chicken Littles. I wouldn’t call these chicken nuggets, but they are certainly chicken-nugget-adjacent. The array of sauces offered by Apocalypse Burger make these little chicken bites a fun snack. Whether you’re dunking in Truffle Aioli, Ranch, or Wasabi Aioli, you really can’t go wrong.
For burgers, I went pretty traditional, being that it was my maiden voyage. I went for the Smashpocalypse Burger, which I’ve described in an earlier paragraph. The white BBQ provides just enough tang to keep shit interesting, the pickles and lettuce are refreshing, and the Manchego is rich, creamy, and divine. My buddy got the Patty Melt, which was honestly my plan B order, so I got to take a bite. It was goated with the sauce. For real: patty melts preoccupy me. They’re the beefy bee in my bonnet. I love a good patty melt and the one they’re serving up at Apocalypse Burger isn’t good: it’s fucking fantastic.
If you’re in the Indy area, this is a not-to-be-missed spot. My angry-inner-teen is a little less pissed off after eating at Apocalypse Burger. It’s hard to be pissy when your tummy is full of rosé and smashburgers. Seriously, I urge you to do yourself a favor and get there ASAP. Your angry-inner-teen will thank you for it.
Plonk & Pleasure 
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