I have this small obsession that I hide relatively well but it occasionally creeps up in casual conversation and stalks me through the grocery store aisles. If I were to utter the phrase, “I like cereal,” likely nobody would bat an eye. Cereal is a pretty universally tolerated food. There’s nothing particularly unusual or divisive about liking cereal. But, my friends, I really like cereal. I like it as more than just a thing to eat: I like it as a concept. I might actually like the idea of cereal even more than I like the reality of cereal–because what’s not to like about whimsically designed boxes of sugary, crunchy, differently flavored and shaped bits that are sometimes even themed towards beloved cartoons or holidays and occasionally are accompanied by teeny-tiny marbits.
My obsession doesn’t consume my life, but I do typically have at least five open boxes of cereal in my (get this) “cereal cabinet” at all times. Presently, one of those boxes is a discontinued cereal that I am slowly savoring with the knowledge I will likely never get to eat it again. I’d like to say my obsession doesn’t control me, but I am also acutely aware that I’ll never leave a grocery store without at least a short, leisurely stroll down the cereal aisle. Though rare behavior for me, in the past I’ve admittedly spent stupid amounts of money ordering cereals only produced outside of the United States that I somehow decided I couldn’t live without trying at least once. (Kellogg’s Panadería Pan De Muerto cereal is life.) Most nights, I am lulled to sleep by the sounds of The Empty Bowl podcast: which, for the uninitiated, is the most magnificently brilliant podcast ever produced and, at its core, is essentially just a relaxing half-hour where two dudes talk about cereal.
For me, cereal isn’t a typical breakfast food: it’s a snack. (It can also be a cooking or baking ingredient, but that’s a digression best saved for another day.) I feel it’s best enjoyed somewhere between midday and evening–and, I suppose, late at night, if you’re awake. (I seldom am, thanks to The Empty Bowl.) I like to occasionally enjoy, what I like to call, “Cereal and Serial time.” This is how I refer to my time spent watching Netflix documentaries about serial killers while eating delicious bowls of cereal. I think watching Christmas movies with Christmas cereal is an equally delightful pairing, perhaps trumped only by Monster Cereals with Halloween movies. Pairing Monster Cereals with monster movies is probably the most brilliant food and movie pairing out there–and that’s a bold statement from a lady who spends ridiculous amounts of time trying to craft thoughtful wine and media pairings. That’s not to say you can’t pair wine and cereal. (Mendoza Chardonnay with Honey Nut Cheerios, anyone?) But, at the end of the day, my brain has always struggled to form a connection between cereal and alcohol. It always seemed like something that might tend toward yucky instead of yummy. That is, until a local brewery blew my freaking mind and forever changed my way of thinking.
2Toms Brewing Company in Fort Wayne, Indiana recently released a series of Cereal Killer Beers. Each beer in this series is not only inspired, but in some way flavored, by a beloved classic breakfast cereal. From Captain Crunch, to Lucky Charms, to Cinnamon Toast Crunch: pretty much all of your standard favorites are well represented in beer form. 2Toms has even crafted beers for all four of the currently released Monster Cereals. While I definitely like cereal and I generally like to enjoy a beer from time to time, beer isn’t my go-to beverage and I wouldn’t profess to be a connoisseur. Despite my brief foray into homebrewing in my younger years, I don’t feel like I’m particularly well educated on craft beers. I know enough to comfortably navigate a large beer menu and find something that I’m likely to enjoy–but I’m no pro. Luckily, my best friend is a total hop-head, beer nerd, and cereal connoisseur, so I called on him to assist me in sampling every single Cereal Killer Beer that 2Toms Brewing Company has released. My intent is to keep this simple: there’s absolutely nothing comprehensive about these tasting notes. My hope is that you’ll use these cursory overviews of each beer to help you decide which beer might be right for you. We tried them all, so you don’t have to, unless you want to… and, honestly, you should want to. Here’s what we’ve learned:
Fruit Flakes Milkshake IPA – Let me preface this by saying, I hate IPAs. They’re just not for me. Anytime I drink something that’s full of hoppy flavor, it just tastes like a bad edible to me. That’s a big part of why my bestie really needed to try all these beers with me: he’s an IPA lover. The hoppier the better. With that said, we both loved this beer. It pours an almost grapefruit hue, with an apparent fruity scent. We find the taste to be tart: blood orange and lime. The fruity pebble flavor is very subtle. This beer drinks smooth, is lightly hopped, and incredibly well-balanced. It pleased an IPA hater and an IPA lover, so I feel it’s safe to say that this is a safe choice for most beer drinkers. We truly enjoyed this one.
Captain Milkshake IPA – This beer pours a dark, hazy purple. I find the color a little off-putting. My bestie insists it’s not off-putting: it’s spooky. A strong berry aroma wafts from the glass. For taste, we agree–it tastes of berries. It tastes like all the berries you can think of all happening at the same time: oops, all berries. Bestie notes a subtle aftertaste of Crunch Berries, but I didn’t really get it. While I respect The Captain, I’ve never been a fan. The hops were well integrated; I wouldn’t consider this a hop-forward IPA. As someone who doesn’t like Cap’n Crunch, things that are overly berry-y, or hoppy beers, there was effectively no way that this would ever be my favorite beer. It’s just not for me. You know who loved it though? My bestie.
Jax Milkshake IPA – In the glass, it looks almost like a cloudy cider. It smells like what Applejacks ought to smell like; a hint of cinnamon without being abrasively spiced. However, it smells sweeter than it tastes. By scent alone, I thought I would enjoy this beer. But it’s the most hoppy of the Cereal Killer IPAs. Upon sipping, the hops were the first flavor I could taste. The initial punch of hops is followed by a more subdued cinnamon-apple aftertaste–but those hops are a real kick in the teeth upon first sip. I would say this is one for the hop heads.
Tricks and Treats Milkshake IPA – This beer pours a gorgeous, almost cranberry red hue. It offers a big bouquet of orange and vanilla aromas, but the first taste to hit my tongue was cherry. This drinks citrusy, tart, and sweet, with well–integrated hops. This was probably my second favorite of the IPAs. Absolutely something worth trying, even if (like me) you think you don’t like IPAs.
Broot Frut Pastry Sour – This was the first of the pastry sours that we sampled and it absolutely set a high bar for the rest of the sours to meet; especially because Frute Brute is one of my bestie’s biggest Monster Cereal obsessions. In the glass, this sour is almost maroon in color. Much darker than I expected–but a really gorgeous hue. It gives a lot of marshmallow on the nose. First sip offers a delightful, subtle sour cherry flavor with a hint of marshmallow. The perfect balance of sweet and sour. A thoughtful tribute to its namesake cereal. This was my bestie’s favorite of the sour beers. However, I’m going to say he’s biased due in large part to his Frute Brute obsession.
Charms Pastry Sour – As an adult, I don’t really crave Lucky Charms. But, as a little kid, it was one of my favorites: because what youngster doesn’t want to eat marshmallows for breakfast. This cereal-inspired beer leans heavily into that nostalgia and flooded me with happy memories upon my first whiff. Straight from the can, it pours vibrant green, and boasts a sweet marshmallowy aroma. The flavor of marshmallow is balanced with tart, sourness, and a subtle hint of the oatyness you get from the Lucky Charms cereal pieces. If they don’t bring this beer back for Saint Patrick’s Day, I will be absolutely gutted. As I type this up, I’m drinking a glass of Charms Pastry Sour. Yes, it’s that good.
Franken Berries Pastry Sour – I literally wrote, “fun color,” in the notes I took while first sampling this beer. From first sight to last sip, this is a fun beer. Sort of red-orange in hue, this beer is honestly the exact color of Mood Slime from Ghostbusters 2. On the nose, it gives sweet strawberry, but tastes more like sour strawberry candy and marshmallows. Aftertaste provided me with just a hint of Franken Berry cereal. Yummy and refreshing!
Boo Berries Pastry Sour – Kind of murky purple, this pastry sour is a loving tribute to its namesake cereal. As much as I love Boo Berry cereal, sometimes I feel like it doesn’t deliver quite enough blueberry flavor. This beer, however, brings it. The scent is a pleasant mix of blueberry and marshmallow, but the first sip is like a big sour blueberry punch in the face–the best kind of punch you can get! Delicious! Bestie approved!
Cookie C’s Pastry Stout – This beer pours a dark, velvety brown hue. The aroma is vaguely chocolatey; somewhat reminiscent of a chocolate chip cookie. Blended with cacao nibs and Cookie Crisp Cereal, this stout is not overly thick or syrupy. Instead, it’s luscious with a sweet chocolatey flavor. Of the stouts, this is my bestie’s favorite.
Puff Pastry Stout – In my mind, the color of this beer was so brown that it almost seemed black. I half expected it to drink like motor oil, but the consistency was not nearly so viscous on the palate. Unfortunately, this was probably my least favorite of the stouts. The aroma is mild; just sort of vaguely sweet. While this beer is blended with cacao nibs, Reese’s Puffs cereal, and peanut butter, these flavors don’t come through as much as I had hoped they might. Don’t get me wrong: this beer is good. It tastes a lot like Sweet Baby Jesus by DuClaw Brewing Company–but with less peanut butter and chocolate coming through. I wish the flavors kicked me in the teeth instead of just ever-so-slightly tickling my tastebuds. But honestly, I feel the same way about Reese’s Puffs cereal: it just doesn’t give me enough of the flavor that I want. So, perhaps this beer is perfectly matched to its namesake cereal and perhaps, if you don’t want an overly assertive peanut butter and chocolate stout, this would be the perfect beer for you!
CT Crunch Pastry Stout – The perfect marriage for all of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and stout fans out there: I know I can’t be the only one! Dark brown and velvety smooth, this beer offers sweet cinnamon on the nose. Upon first sip, there is an apparent chocolatey-ness to the beer followed by a pronounced cinnamon flavor. Very drinkable; an ideal cozy beer for the current season. If you’re at 2Tom’s Brewing Company in Fort Wayne trying this beer, I think it pairs nicely with Brew260’s Cran Jack Turkey sandwich. I have strong feelings about this.
Chocula Pastry Stout – This luscious dark brown stout had the most sizable head of all my pours; all foamy and voluptuous. (Maybe it was the beer or, maybe, it was my inconsistent pouring technique: who’s to say.) Conditioned on cacao nibs, chocolate, and monster cereal, the decadent chocolatey aroma of this beer hits the nose immediately. To me, this almost smells like a garden variety stout with a squirt of chocolate syrup in it: it’s really that chocolatey and intense. The flavor is more subtle. It reminds me of the milk left behind in a bowl of Count Chocula cereal. It’s exquisite and an absolute favorite.
While we have clear favorites, every single one of the beers has something to love. You don’t have to be a cereal-freak to enjoy these brews–though it certainly doesn’t hurt. From the creative can art, to the neat names, to the delicious drafts: no detail was left out of the fun. 2Toms Brewing Company should absolutely consider this tradition a triumph; I can’t wait for next year! Until then, I have something new to crave.
Plonk & Pleasure 
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